Broken and Frayed
by ChangerOfNames
Summary: A broken kid died, only to be reborn in a seemingly perfect world with no place for the kid in it. Deciding to do what they do best, the kid engulfs themselves into stories, helping others along the way and gaining recognition as they write about their past world. Or: An Author even known by monsters finds themselves in the underground with a broken mind and a frayed soul. Oneshot.


I was silent, feeling the pain, and the squeezing, and the aches, and the air. I stayed silent, not wanting to show my pain. Not wanting to do much of anything besides sleep. So I slept.

I was a quiet kid. Not because I was a quiet person by nature, but because I didn't fit in, and so just observed the children around me run around. They were all happy.

Was I happy?

I wasn't. I didn't know why, though. I should've been happy.

Everything I did seemed to drag me further and further from the social normality, and, eventually, I ended up immersing myself in books and magicks of olde and history. It was familiar, I knew, but I didn't care. A war between two big groups, one group made of magicks, able to absorb souls, another group made of water, able to handle the weight of responsibilities.

They fought. The water-dwellers won, and the magick-dwellers were thrown down into some cave, created by seven mages.

I learned the arts of magicks, and did my best in my studies. I learned about the politics of the world, and read every book I could get my hands on, writing many more. I ended up gaining quite a bit of money from the books I wrote, and, eventually, the parents that birthed me, as disappointed in me as they were, used me for the money. They weren't bad parents, but they didn't care about me, just as I found it hard to care for them.

Found it hard to care for anything, for I was rather disconnected from the world.

I was known, for what I wrote. The worlds I wrote of, the places that couldn't ever exist, for humans would never fight their own, would they? No, the worlds, the world, that I wrote stories of, most of what I knew to happen in the world I once came from, was so far from the world I was in now.

Humans didn't fight each other, here. It was… odd. There was still bullying, and countries and thugs and the like, but there wasn't human vs human wars. It almost made me wonder if somewhere, my world was just a fictional story created by some pessimist somewhere.

The irony wasn't lost on me. I didn't care.

I wrote of the governmental systems of my world, I wrote of what politic I knew, I wrote of the wars, I wrote from the perspective of Hitler, the slaves, the Jews. I wrote from the perspective of Japan, of the US, of Britain. I wrote from all of the perspectives I could, and I wrote books on theory that I barely knew from my past world, and everyone knew about the books, because they were horrific, and just made countries and civilians appreciate what they had even more.

I wrote of racism. I wrote of sexism. I wrote of social hierarchy. I wrote of aliens and monsters and wizards and I wrote of everything that ruled that world, and I wrote of everything that didn't. In the end, I found that I was a rather good writer, and I wrote some fiction, fanfiction that no one but me knew was fanfiction, some nonfiction that no one but me knew was nonfiction, some nonfiction that everyone knew was nonfiction, theoretical stories about how time travel would affect a singular person, and how the multiverse theory worked, as well as a few other ideologies I'd shared in certain theoretical works of mine.

In the end, by the time I was ten, most colleges wanted me, and paparazzi was a thing that my parents enjoyed. I ignored it all, wondering what next to write on.

Eventually I decided to write on the war between the water-dwellers and magick-dwellers, the one that most humans forgot about. I added a twist to it, and made it the hardest story I had written yet, with my sub-par writing skills.

Where before I just wrote and edited as I went along, for this story I plotted out each and every detail. I put everything into it, and, I put it on the magick-dweller's point of view, with a comment on the media saying that I'd only release the water-dweller's point of view if I saw that people understood what I was trying to get through in the story.

I also released a totally unrelated story where humans with special powers were feared and beaten away by normal people. Until people saw that the two stories were almost the exact same thing, I wouldn't release, or even make, the water-dweller's point of view on the book.

That time was the first time I got slapped by my parents.

It took two years of no new books besides theoreticals and little explanation pamphlets on the other world for them to finally make the connection. It was on the news within the week, and the new book was released the next month.

I then continued writing the series for both the Magick-dwellers and the powered humans, for I rather liked those ideas. These books were more along the lines of what I usually wrote, and I made many relatable villains as well as good guys.

Sometimes, just for fun, in a side series I was making on rebellious teens in a country's self-induced anarchy, I made the protagonists the bad guys, or I made the "bad guys" actually the good guys, and sometimes I even made it so that neither protagonists nor antagonists could be really called bad or good, for they were a mix of them.

It seemed the world rather liked me, though I rarely paid it much attention, staying to my books and stories.

The entire world knew me by my alias, though, for I rarely ever used my actual name. My alias was one I spent quite a while thinking of. I could choose absolutely anything from my own world or from many others, and yet I felt like it needed to mean something. I ended up on Tamashi Erebus Ania, better known as Erebus, Ania, or just Tea. I was Tea, the author of any and all stories. Kind of. Not really.

I sighed, staring blankly at the page in front of me. Every penny I made went to my parents, who barely spent enough on me for me to continue writing out the stories I was so obsessed with.

In the end I decided to make a joke book. The world needed to lighten up.

I published a quote book at the same time, full of dark and empathetic lines.

One day, I heard a story about a certain mountain that kids have gone missing from over the years, and decided to go hiking.

As I hiked, I wondered where the mountain was, and why I had heard of it here of all places. I thought about it in a detached, "it doesn't really matter to me" way. It was just my silly mind giving hopeful ideals that a mass murderer would come and send me off to the next great adventure, as good old Dumbles would say.

I practised magick whilst I walked, and wondered how strong I was in comparison to the seven "great mages" of the past with my awesome abilities. There hadn't been magic in my last life, and using it so casually and easily was the best thing ever.

I used it way more often than anyone else in the entire world, I knew, for even the books said it was unhealthy to use magic more than three times a day, or your soul would grow weak.

I didn't really care, but I did vaguely wonder, why the books on magic had lied so much. Or maybe I was a special case, having come from a place without magic…? I didn't know, and, as I shall repeat, I didn't care, either. It was their loss, really.

I let my disassociation fade as I walked, and I just looked around, enjoying the nature and the peace of it all. While I did have quite a lot of peace at home, seeing as my parents only came to gather the cash I had made while they were away on their extremely extended vacation, it was a much more stifled, lonely peace than the one felt when walking amongst nature.

The leaves rustled gently, and I felt at peace. I closed my eyes for a moment as I walked, but that ended up being a mistake as my foot caught on something and I fell down, down, and down. The fall startled me just enough to break me of my disassociation entirely, for just a moment, and I took that time to mentally berate myself on my stupidity, before I fell back into the tranquil peace of silence and stories.

Right once I could stand up, I did so, and rustled through my backpack, pulling out my notebook and jotting quite a few notes down in it. It was my scenery notebook, the one I wrote personal experiences such as panicking, falling, crying, laughing, or any other experience that I'd want to seem realistic into.

Walking as I wrote, my feet carried me through an entrance, past a dancing flower that was smiling, and right into a wall. I backed up a bit, standing in front of the dancing flower as I wrote down the rest of the experience. When I was done, my eyes closed momentarily and my fingers fluttered around the notebook, gently closing it and putting both my pen and notebook back into my backpack.

"Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower!" The Flower spoke, and I stared silently at it, breathing a bit shaky but voice unwilling to work. So I just pretended I couldn't speak, and tilted my head at it. This wasn't…?

"Hmmm... You're new to the Underground, aren't cha? Golly, you must be so confused. Someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do. Ready? Here we go!" The flower winked, and there was a bit of silence, before a crumpled and cracked, extremely faded darkish red that looked more brownish red, since it was so faded. We both stared at it, me only semi disassociated, and Flowey utterly confused at the black and white cracks spread throughout the soul before us.

"How… How are you not dead?" He asked, and I stared blankly at the soul.

"..." I stared blankly at the soul, watching as the brownish red faded just a bit more, neither black nor white cracks spreading, as suddenly the faded red goes to a subdued grey with a reddish tint.

"That's… That's your soul. It starts off weak, but can - …" The flower's face changes from confused and disturbed to pitying, "... Nevermind. Just… Just go and get healed or something. That… That can't be good on your mental health, can it?" The flower asked as a finishing sentence, looking worried, and I silently shrug, shaking my head. I supposed I agreed with the coloring of my soul. While I didn't have any perseverance, I did have determination.

Flowey vanished in the ground, and my soul faded back into my chest, where the twinging ache had subsided somewhat, numbing itself.

A goat lady walked up, looking at me and my blank stare for a moment before speaking.

"I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first human to come here in a long time. Come! I will guide you through the catacombs," the goat lady Toriel said, smiling gently at me, "This way."

I silently followed her, pondering over the state of my soul. Well, I wasn't all that surprised, but I wondered if this was because of the universe hopping, my near-constant use of magic, or because of where I came from. I barely took note of her speaking, instead writing down a few different experiences that I'd had, and a quick explanation of what a soul felt like coming out of one's body and being put back in one's body.

Suddenly I was standing in front of a dummy with the goat lady, Toriel, looking expectant, and I stared blankly between her and the dummy before waving at the dummy and watching it float away, bored of my fooling around.

Toriel remained silent, squinting at where the dummy was for a moment before leading me onwards. I bumped into a frog, and glanced at it, waving. It waved back, and we went our separate ways, no fight scene necessary. She led me to a place of spikes, and took my hand and led me through it. I barely noticed the difference of scenery, pondering over a few different subjects that I might include in my stories.

Toriel suddenly walked away, and I watched idly as she vanished. I tilted my head, vaguely confused, before shaking my head and continuing, pulling out a notebook to write some ideas down.

Toriel looked like she wanted to hand me something, but thought better of it and told me to stay, before rushing off. I didn't, and I just vaguely wandered around, almost stepping through a ghost before I caught myself. I poked it, and it rose up, looking at me. I waved, and it said hi. We had a general charade's conversation, as I no longer had a talkative personality type, and waved bye to each other as we went on our own ways.

Eventually, after little fanfare and a bit of a horrified Loox I got to a small clearing with a nice looking house up ahead. I picked up a leaf on the deadened tree, and pondered it a bit before Toriel came rushing out of the house, bumping into me.

She spoke of many things, and yet I stayed quiet, nodding when appropriate. When she ran off after smelling smoke I looked around, and finally got to looking in a mirror for the first time in my life, not recognizing the person before me. I tried memorizing the details, but they slid out of my memory, and I soon forgot what I looked like once more, visiting Toriel in her living room when I decided not to sleep just yet.

Something on the book shelf caught my eyes, and I looked over it to see many titles that I've already read, a few titles that I've written, and one single book that I haven't read yet. I pulled it out, looking at the description. Oh. I wouldn't be interested in this book. It was a fictional story about how awesome humans were. I avoided those. I set the book back, and turned to Toriel, curious.

"... You read my books?" I mutter in a whispery tone, having rarely if ever used my voice in my entire new life. Toriel looked confused and surprised.

"Oh, you wrote books? What books have you written?" Toriel asked kindly, like a mother humouring a child. I pulled out two books from my backpack, before pulling one of the books off of the shelf.

"Have you read the series up to this point so far?" I asked, whispery and rough voice barely able to be heard. Toriel's eyes lit up, smiling happily.

"What monster hasn't? It's not often that we're written about, especially in such a nice way! I felt like I could relate to many of the characters, especially the rabbit woman, it's one of my favorite series! … No later copies of the series have gotten to the underground, sadly," Toriel sat back, rejected. She looked confused when I started chuckling, shaking my head and reaching back into my backpack.

I was caught by my publisher on my way to the hiking point, and received ten copies of the books that were going to be published in a few months to give away to people I deemed important. I brought out another notebook, the one that would be recording my experiences in the underground.

"No later copies have been published yet," I shook my head, handing over the next two books of the series, "This will be published next month, and this is being released to the book places later today. Here, have both," I stated, voice roughening until it was uncomfortable to speak.

Toriel's eyes widened, and she looked extremely shocked, "You're the author? You're _the_ Ania?" Toriel asked, and I smiled a bit shyly, smile dropping almost immediately as I nodded.

Toriel looked extremely enthused, and eagerly, but gently, took the books from my hands. I rubbed my throat a bit, wincing a bit before awkwardly gaining Toriel's attention and pointing back towards the room she showed me to show that I was going to sleep. She nodded and waved me off, already reading the book that would be published today.

I went to the room, got in the bed, and fell asleep.

When I woke up there was a slice of pie on the ground in the bedroom. I happily ate it, before taking it to the kitchen to clean the plate and put it away after drying it.

I walked into the living room to see Toriel still absorbed into the book, except she was reading it aloud for a crowd of monsters gathered in and around her house. I was bewildered. Why would they care so much? It was only a book that spoke of a human falling in and going through, meeting the monsters as they went through to get home. Of course, in the second book Toriel held, the second to last book in the series, the human ended up freeing all of the monsters from where they were, using the power of seven souls.

A few weeks later I was sat against the dead tree out front, leaves crunched underneath me as I scribbled ideas and notes. A Loox awkwardly walked up, a crowd of other monsters watching from afar anxiously. Toriel had finished reading the first book I gave her to the other monsters, and the copy was now being passed around throughout the underground, if I overheard the others correctly.

"Um… Hey, Ania… Are you really the author of those books?" He asked, and I nodded, confused. He was the Loox that saw my soul, right? I feel kind of bad, he still seemed traumatized.

"I was j-just wondering why your soul looked so b-broken?" The Loox asked, and I thought about it for a moment, before shaking my head and shrugging.

"Three possible causes. Magic overuse, lack of … will to live, or bad upbringing," I rasped, and the Loox looked slightly worried, before shaking himself out and stretching out his hand.

"Okay, c-can I shake your hand? All the monsters really like your books, and…" The Loox trailed off, probably expecting to be picked on or something. I smiled kindly. While I didn't exactly like the fact that I was alive, if I could comfort others and help lessen their own pain it was worth it.

No one would feel like I did whenever I wasn't disassociating. I'd help anyone, no matter what. **The thought of others needing my help fills me with determination.**

I stood up, holding out my hand and awkwardly smiling. I didn't expect to be swarmed the next moment, every monster in the Ruins lining up to shake or nudge or just pretend to shake my hand. I was confused. Why would they care so much? It was just a bunch of words on paper.

It wasn't like I was one of those author's that helped others and changed their lives with what I wrote. It was just a historical fiction series, soon to become a general fiction, seeing as no human would fall into the underground and free all of the monsters by the time I got through the underground. I vaguely wondered if my magic was strong enough to break the barrier blocking the monsters from escaping.

Months passed, and eventually my fame died down, and I lived a nice, quiet life with Toriel and the Ruins for a while. But, in the last few days of the month, I had grown rather fidgety, and felt like it was time for me to move on. I walked over, watching as Toriel, who was reading a book on snails that I'd quite enjoyed reading through when I was three, flipped a page.

"Uh, mum?" I asked, voice still gravelly and rough, but way less straining.

"Yes, Ania?" Toriel replied kindly, smiling at me.

"Is there a way I can go home? I uh, do have a few other books I need to publish, and, um… I want to see if my magic is strong enough to break the barrier, to release you guys, and… Uh," I trailed off, having no other reasons to leave. Toriel takes a moment to stare deep into my eyes, and I stare back blankly, not really able to show any other emotion than determination, despite my determination being extremely weak. It was my strongest emotion besides pain and understanding.

"... I knew this day would come, as soon as I read through the second to last of the series. Yes, just follow me," Toriel stated, standing up, but I backtracked.

"Woah woah woah, wait, I still need to say goodbye to everyone in case I don't or can't come back," I rasped. Toriel looked torn, before resolving herself and nodding, sitting back down.

"Just come and get me when you are ready to leave, okay?" Toriel uttered, looking resigned. I nodded hesitantly, before going around and saying goodbye to everyone, even the spiders in the bakesale that started up just yesterday.

When I was ready, I walked up to Toriel, and followed her down to the basement, down to the exit of the Ruins. We hugged, and I was about to leave when Toriel stopped me.

"Er, wait! … There's this monster on the other side, a nice young man with a similar humour to you and I… Tell him I say hello, okay? I'm expecting a call every day, okay? Or, if you are about to meet Asgore… Call me, okay? I want to be there to see if you can break the barrier," Toriel ordered, looking me over for any injuries and, not finding any, smoothing down my hair, giving me another hug, and rushing off, leaving me with a phone in my hand. I walked through the doors, only to stop when I saw Flowey there, looking a mix of hopeful and sympathetic as he pulled me into a fight without a word.

My soul was riddled with three new white cracks, and the red tinted grey grew slightly more reddish, still looking a bit like dried blood on a cracked grey background.

"... The month you spent hurt you more than it helped you? Why did you stay, if it hurt you so much?" Flowey demanded, looking extremely confused and more than a little lost.

I gave a weak, fake, smile to Flowey. He grimaced, and I noted that he was the only one to realize that my smiles were fake. Or maybe he was just the only one to react. Either way, "If it helped others with their self-esteems, and helped them get along with other monsters, then it was worth it. I'm nothing important, Flowey. Certainly not more important than any monster."

Flowey looked dubious, not believing that me, a human, would actually think that. When he realized I was being serious, he looked … Well, I don't know how he looked. I would call it a look of devastation, but there's no way that's true. Maybe desperation, I mused. I observed the expression closely, pulling out a notebook and jotting down everything I observed from the expression, even doing a little stick man to show the face, so that I could ask someone later.

"There's no way that other humans treated you that badly, is there? Who could depreciate your self-esteem so much that you think you aren't worth anything?" Flowey pleaded, though what he was begging for I had no clue. I tilted my head, looking a bit confused.

"Well, I mean… I'm not…? … I didn't have a bad life, it's not like humans are bad," I waved my hands way more rapidly than my slow monotone called for, "I mean, it was a bit lonely, since no other kids liked me or played with me, and as soon as my parents got money from my book sales they went on a semi-permanent vacation, only coming back to collect more, but other than that it was fine," I assured Flowey. I was a bit confused when Flowey looked nauseous.

"... Did you ever even talk before coming here?" Flowey asked desperately, and I felt my face scrunch up in confusion.

"No, not really. I usually only spoke when spoken to, so I sometimes exchanged a few words with my editor and publisher…?" I explained, bewildered. What was so wrong with that? It wasn't like I needed much attention.

"Oh, so your parents didn't leave you until you were at least ten?" Flowey asked. I shook my head.

"I first got money from the books I wrote when I was four. I had been typing on a computer a good story since I was three and realized I could, meaning that my parents would let me do that, and when it was finished and edited my parents sent it off to a publisher."

I had never seen a flower cry before. I was extremely baffled. When Flowey vanished I stood awkwardly for a moment, embarrassed about whatever I did or said to make him cry, and I walked forward, stepping into a wintery wonderland. I grinned at the snow, pulling out my notebook and making notes in it.

I was about to continue forward when I paused.

"Wait, how am I going to finish the last book of the " _Undertale: Centuries_ " series if I don't know how the humans would react to monsters?" I grunted to myself, facepalming and shaking my head before continuing on my journey, stepping away from the door and walking down the snowy path. I pull out the first book, the one about the war, simply labelled " _Undertale: Origins_ ", and flipped through, before putting my notebook back, holding the pen in my mouth, and pulling out the human side of the war to cross-reference.

Without much effort, I continued walking, flipping pages, and reading through the books in both hands, setting one book on top of another to point out or make note of a certain area or part where the humans reacted a certain way, just before the war broke out.

I didn't notice the loud snapping of a branch, having been flipping a page of both books to move on. Suddenly I heard loud footsteps behind me and I froze in confusion.

None of the monsters from the Ruins showed any signs of wanting to come with me, or even want to go through to the rest of the underground, so who…?

" n. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand," the deep voice ordered, a slight threat in his voice, and I turned around, looking at the monster's hand outstretched before dropping the pen from my mouth onto a textbook.

"Ah, sorry, one moment, sir, I'll... be... right... with you, aha!" I muttered, struggling to flop my backpack off without getting the texts wet. I quickly pack and jump up, backpack slung over a shoulder right once I said "aha". I grin and shake the monster's hand, grin slowly fading in confusion when a whoopie cushion sound comes from the monster's hand.

"heheh... the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick," the skeleton said, his entire being becoming visible suddenly. I tilted my head curiously. Was that funny to others?

"it's ALWAYS funny," he continued, me staring blankly at him, "... that's, uh. your cue to laugh. or, uh, to emote at all…?" He ended with a wink.

I stared blankly at him, confused. I _was_ emoting. Right?

"gee, lady, you really know how to pick 'em, huh…? OK. that's fine. every-" he then stopped when my face lit up, and I clapped my hands together before raising one finger in the air, a perfect "aha!" moment.

"Oh! You're the dude Toriel was talking about! … Similar humour my … ahem, that was… flat. And more confusing than funny. She said, "There's this monster on the other side, a nice young man with a similar humour to you and I… Tell him I say hello, okay?" So yeah. My mum says hi," I rasped. I always rasped, it was near-impossible for my voice not to have a raspy, gravelly, textured tone, since it was rather unused to being used, even if I had been using it a lot during the past month.

Suddenly the skeleton seemed to relax, and he looked more joyful.

"your "mum", huh?" He asked, and I blushed, shrugging and grinning, the grin fading quickly when his sudden observation didn't fade. We awkwardly stared at each other for a few moments.

"... i'm sans. sans the skeleton," newly dubbed Sans offered.

"Er, Ania. Tamashi Erebus Ania, the human," I introduced. Suddenly Sans was watching me much more closely, and I frowned at him, unsure what he was doing.

"... huh, so you're Ania? the one who wrote the books?" Sans asked, putting his hands in his pockets, and my frown eased to the usual neutral expression.

"The one and only. Well, I hope I'm the only. Lawsuits and copyright issues are a pain, especially since I have to be my own lawyer," I groaned good-naturedly, smiling weakly at Sans, only for him to totally dismiss my smile. It faltered and fell, and I straightened, observing Sans for a moment before speaking once more, "Why do you do that? No one else notices, and yet … you do…" I suddenly realized something, "oh," I whispered, voice small. I stared at Sans with empathy, and decided to try and help Flowey as well. **I'm filled with determination at the thought that two people might need my help.**

After all, you only notice something so rarely noticed if you, yourself, understand and know what to look for.

"... i'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but... y'know... i don't really care about capturing anybody. now my brother, papyrus… he's a human-hunting FANATIC. hey, actually, i think that's him over there. i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. my brother made the bars too wide to stop anyone," Sans followed behind, and I looked around the clearing.

"Quick, hide," Sans ordered, and I glanced around, stepping aside to gesture to the empty clearing besides a small lamp that might've fit anyone shorter than me.

"I'll be fine, skele-bro," I muttered, shrugging and pulling out my notebook to start jotting ideas and experiences down in the notebook, quickly filling the rest of the page and moving on to the next.

"... uh, ok, i guess you don't have to," Sans said, having mixed feelings about what was going on. I could just tell he was, though I couldn't tell what those feelings were, nor could I pinpoint why they were occuring. If only I were as omniscient as I usually am, when it comes to conversations… Though those were usually on paper, so I guessed they didn't count.

"SANS! HAVE YOU FOUND A HUMAN YET!?" A tall skeleton wearing a cool uniform asked in the same volume of voice as a vaguely remembered green blur talking about youth.

"yeah."

"REALLY!? WOWIE! GUESS THAT'S SETTLED!" The tall skeleton walked off, leaving behind an awkward silence.

"... Sans, I don't think he even noticed me," I muttered to Sans.

"heh, maybe," Sans agreed, and I sighed to myself.

"Of course, one skele-bro that sees too much and one that sees too little. … Don't suppose you make bad puns and play a musical instrument?" I asked, getting an odd feeling about everything. Like I should've remembered something, but only remembered bits and pieces.

"yeah, i do. i uh, found an uncanny resemblance between us and two other skeleton bro's you wrote about…" Sans stated, and I turned to truly look at him. I looked him up and down, even rushing around, and slid to a stop in front of him.

"... Oh. Um. Yeah. Yeah, you're the exact same, huh? … Sammie and Russ… Are… The exact same… Wait, sorry, you said your name was Sans? Like comic sans, the font? And you're comedic… Oh, what?" I asked, voice just gone, me no longer focussing on anything besides opening my books to the right pages.

"... Kid goes falling down into the underground, has weird powers, meets two skeleton brothers… His name is… Oh. What? No, no way. Sorry, Sans, I uh, gotta go and um, bye!" I rushed off, not noticing that many of my books and notebooks fell out of my opened backpack, too focussed on what was right before my eyes.

The. Exact. Same. Skeletons.

I'm from a different universe, one totally different.

One with multiple fictional escaped to delude myself in, unlike this one.

When I first came here things felt familiar.

How could I forget?

 _How could I forget?_

" _Fuck!_ " I yelled, throat ripping and making the sound a more guttural snarl than any actual word. I winced, putting my hand to my throat, before focussing on other things.

Like my name, that I rarely used, for example.

Frisk.

My. Name. Was. Literally. _Frisk!_

Oh, I'm an _idiot!_

And I wrote- oh, oh… Oh no. I glanced down into my nearly empty backpack, all of the notebooks - _including the ones where I drew out my characters_ \- were gone. I ran back to where Sans and the notebooks - and books, for that matter - were, only to find the entire area bare. No notebooks. No Sans. No books. I groaned, oh, shite, what have I done?

I slumped, zipping up what was left in my backpack, before walking onwards.

Papyrus and Sans were talking, making me feel a bit worse when Papyrus repeated, word for word, verbatim, what was written in the third of the four, soon to be five, book series. I felt only slightly better knowing that prophets did exist in this world. I felt absolutely shitty for making money after a grueling and sad, but true, story without even asking.

I felt even worse for Papyrus and Sans than I did for any others, because I had rather enjoyed writing the characters out, and so focussed on them more. Oh, oh dear. I was up and running for the spot of #1 worst human ever. They'd never be left alone on the surface. … Oh, fuck! I was missing from the surface for an entire _month!_ I had to get home soon, or else everyone would fucking riot!

I froze, eyes closing and opening very, very slowly. Oh. Oh, that was bad as well. My disassociation, look at it go, in tatters, down the river and away, away away. Oh. I wasn't panicking still, which was good. As long as I can still pretend not to be panicking, that is.

"SANS! THE HUMAN ISN'T EVEN LISTENING!" The tall skeleton, Papyrus, groused. My attention focused, and I sent a charming smile Papyrus's way.

"Oh, sorry darling, I was distracted by your stunning looks." I spoke without thinking, and even I was frozen in shock. Right. When not disassociating, I'm a rather quick-witted, sarcastic sort, aren't I? It's been so long… Shouldn't the personality be decayed, by now?

"OH. WOWIE, FLIRTING BEFORE YOU EVEN WENT THROUGH ANY OF MY AMAZING PUZZLES. D-DOES THIS MEAN THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAS TO DATE YOU? NO! I HAVE HIGH STANDARDS!" Papyrus claimed, not sure how exactly to react. Nor was Sans. Nor was I. None of us knew how to react. Well. I knew one thing.

"I am rather good at making any meal, spaghetti included," I commented, casually.

"OH NO! ALL MY STANDARDS HAVE BEEN MET! T-THEN WE HAVE TO GO ON A D-DATE! BUT, AFTER ALL OF THESE PUZZLES AND A FIGHT!" Papyrus declared, running off.

"... You have my notebooks, can I have them back?" I said to Sans, voice gruffer than usual because of my consistent running commentary to myself as I swore and ran. I could taste the blood.

"well, uh, that was quick. you wasted no time flirting with my bro," Sans directed the conversation elsewhere, watching as I blushed and looked away.

"Look, me being all freaked out over losing basically my entire backpack, along with the panic of realizing that I was writing prophecies and not fictional stories… I mean, it surprised me too… Well, it kinda disrupted this disassociation thing I had going on, which made it rather hard to think before speaking, as I'm used to doing _only_ when disassociating myself…" I tried explaining, before shrugging and shaking my head, holding out my hand, backpack already opened in my other hand. Sans looked down at my awaiting hand, and, probably thinking himself funny, shook it, before walking away.

"heh, i took it to papy and i's house. you can get it there," Sans said, vanishing. I cussed, rubbing my eyes. I took quite a few quiet moments to reactivate my disassociation. It took longer than I expected, and I walked forward, ready to do whatever puzzles, japes, and fun lay ahead of me to get my precious notebooks back.

I stared blankly at the word search, mourning over my pen immensely. I set the page back down and continued, vaguely taking note of Papyrus's complaints.

By the time I reached Snowdin, I was rather exhausted. It had been a long day, and Toriel must be expecting a call soon. I pulled out the cell and called.

"Hello? This is Toriel." Toriel said, and I smiled fondly.

"Hey, mum." I greeted tiredly.

"Oh, your voice! You sound like you've been using it too much, I told you not to do that!" Toriel scolded, and I chuckled, closing my eyes to just hear my mum's voice again.

"Actually, I tried yelling one time, but I ended up just hurting my throat. It's been one heck of an adventure so far, mum, haha. It's been fun, though. How have you been holding up, today?" I asked, growly voice making seem more like an order, which I rather disliked.

"Yelling? Well, that sounds very interesting. You sound rather tired, maybe you could call me when you wake up and tell me then? I don't want you overusing your vocal cords again," Toriel said, sounding worried.

"I'll be alright, mum. … Thank you for worrying… Talk to you later."

"Talk to you tomorrow morning, my child," Toriel said softly. A click was heard, and then I slowly closed my phone, slowly opening my eyes and sighing at the sights before me. I was a long time away from sleeping, I knew.

I knocked at the door of Sans' and Papyrus' house. No response. I did it for a few more minutes before muttering about irritating punmasters and walking onwards, talking to a younger kid and making friends before passing by and feeling slightly odd how my vision fogged until I could only see a silhouette ahead of me.

"HUMAN." Papyrus' voice continued, but my eyesight started blurring and unfocussing, and I hadn't heard any of his spiel.

"PASTA… COOL PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL… FRIEND… NO… ROYAL GUARD!" Papyrus spoke, not realizing that I was a bit beyond my own limits and was having troubles listening.

I barely registered that a fight was about to occur before feeling an odd rush and looking up to see that Papyrus had fainted. At the sight of my soul. Ah, whoops, forgot about that. I sighed heavily as I shuffled over and picked Papyrus up, feeling awkward as I carried him to his house. I tried the lock, only to sigh when I realized that, yes, Sans and Papyrus were smart home owners.

"what did you do," a dark, threatening voice came from behind me.

"He's still alive, not an HP off of him, come on, open the door and take your brother to his room," I snapped back, feeling shitty enough as it was that my soul was so bad that it made someone like Papyrus faint. Was I really that bad of a person? …

I stepped back as Sans unlocked the door, not bothering to try stepping in as I handed Papyrus to Sans and watched silently, absentmindedly, as he shut it in my face, one eye flickering. I sighed heavily, knowing I couldn't stop and sleep now. I walked a ways away and grabbed some snow, rubbing it on my face. A bit more awake now. Not much. But enough.

I continued my journey, deciding to just rush the exit, or, better yet, let someone qualified take me to Asgore. Luckily for me, it happened rather quickly. I got through, looking around when the lighting suddenly changed.

"... Hey! Hey! Royal Guardsman person! Over here!" I waved my arms, catching the attention of the chick in the armor. She jumped down next to me.

"Hey, I heard Asgore wanted me, and I was wondering if you could take me there? I heard that all he needs is one more human to break the barrier for good, right?" I asked, subtly leaking information so that she didn't immediately try and steal my soul for herself. The chick hesitated, before nodding, and we walked side-by-side.

"... You know what he's going to do to you, right?" The chick asked, and I nodded wearily.

"Yeah… Yeah, I do. It's worth it, though. You guys get to see the surface, and I'll never have to see another glimpse of my town again. Hopefully the books I wrote would help ease the tensions between monsters and humans, but I have little hope. Humans are rather, er, … Determined… to stay ignorant." I replied, voice barely above a growling mess.

"You're Ania, right? Tch, tensions? Ha! I can beat any human," The chick scoffed, and I chuckled darkly.

"What? You don't believe me?! I c-"

"I believe you. One hundred percent." I interrupted, shaking my head.

"Then why are you laughing?" She demanded, and I smiled weakly.

"You can beat any _one_ human. But can you beat four to five thousand, angry, armed humans trying to take you down? What if another war broke out, that'd make four to five thousand angry, barely combat ready people, four to five _billion_ , with a few hundred thousand of that being fully trained fighters, mind you, not just puny kids, humans, all going against, what, four to five hundred? You're outnumbered. The only way to escape and stay alive is through peace." I explained, and the chick stayed quiet after that, suitably cowed.

"... My real name isn't Ania, by the way… I just wanted someone to know what my real name is, because my parents would milk my quasi-fame even after I died, and try putting my author alias on the tombstone… I'm Frisk, it's nice to meet you," I introduced.

I never expected her to answer, so I'm not surprised when she doesn't. Eventually, a few hours later, since we were just walking, we reached what was formally dubbed the Judgement Hall.

"... Can I have a last call? My mum, the monster one, wanted to know when I went to meet Asgore."

"Hmph, go ahead, brat," The chick snapped, "But make it quick, I don't have time to wait here all day!"

"Ring… Ring… Hello, this is Toriel." Toriel sounded out.

"Hey, mum. I uh, didn't get much sleep, but I'm at Asgore's right now… If you wanted to watch the barrier break…" I muttered, and Toriel seemed slightly worried, for she only asked how long I could stall for.

"... I dunno, maybe… Hey, Royal Guardsman, my mum wants to watch my, ah… Can we wait for her to arrive?" I asked, and the chick thought it over.

"Hand over the phone," She demanded, and I did. She spoke a bit with my mum, and they agreed on something because the chick closed the phone and handed it back.

We stood there, waiting, and eventually Toriel arrived, quite a few monsters at her back.

"Hello, my child. You look exhausted, are you sure you can do this…?" Toriel asked, and I merely nodded.

"Okay… Be careful." Toriel demanded, and I nodded again, and we set forth.

We arrived, and Asgore was there, trimming his flowers. He turned around, looking at everyone that was there.

"Er, hey. They want to see the barrier break… Can I… Can I try breaking it solo, before you use my soul?" I asked nervously, and he looked sorrowfully thoughtful. Eventually, he nodded and guided me to the exit.

I gulped at the giant threatening barrier before me, before I thought of all the people behind me that were relying on my survival. **I was filled with Determination.** I'd do it for the monsters.

I stepped forward, bringing my soul forth, wincing when I heard the multiple gasps of horror. Yeah, I know, I'm a terrible human, I get it. My soul shakily floats before the barrier, pulsing when I sent waves of magic and barrier-breaking spells towards the barrier.

I stepped forward for the seventh time, a bit more hesitantly, soul solidly floating forth, ignorant of the gasps, mana and magic pulsing a bit gentler, but no less powerful as it knocked and shook the barrier.

I stepped forward for the ninety-eighth time, **determination** coursing through my heart as it slowly regained it's vague red pallor, the cracks and rips and tears more visible than ever. The surprised gasps were getting a bit old, but I could _do_ this. I sent wave after wave after wave of mana and magic and spells at the barrier, thinking of how the monsters were no longer a threat, of how utterly stupid the seven mages were. Minutes passed, and I braced myself for the interruption that killed me last time.

"WAIT! DON- SANS! THEY AREN'T FIGHTING! THE HUMAN IS DOING SOMETHING!" Papyrus yelled, and I focussed as much as I could. My soul would break, one hundred percent chance, after this, but it was worth it. I wasn't anticipating my soul being hauled back by a blue effect, myself stumbling back, panting as I collapsed on my hands and knees. Everyone there looked at Sans, surprised.

"Sans! Why would you do that? She was about to break the barrier!" The chick yelled at Sans, and I glanced up to see that Sans was breathing heavily. It would take quite a lot of energy to forcefully remove my soul from the barrier without my soul getting backlash. I had to hand it to him, he was an utter badass, despite ruining my plans.

Sans held up a notebook at a certain page, which a yellow dinosaur in a lab coat looked at, gasping at all of the intricacies of the theory.

"T-this h-here says that sh-she wouldn't b-be able to br-break the b-barrier alone w-without her o-own s-soul getting destroyed in the p-process," the yellow lizard finished, to multiple gasps.

"S-so?" I took a few more heavy breaths, still on my hands and knees, "Y-you'd all be free, a-and," I took a huge gasp once more, "And… and the other souls wouldn't… wouldn't have to suffer… they could just… die out naturally," I explained between heavy breathing.

"when you brought papyrus home, kid, i'd thought you'd done something dangerous so that you could get your notebooks back, but when papy woke and told me what happened, we looked through the notebooks only to find you'd been planning this." Sans said, already looking like he usually did. I slowly stumbled to a stand, striding over and taking my soul in my hands, making the blue effect have no effect as I walked back towards the barrier.

"Yeah, and? Six people already died to open this, and yet it can be opened by one, er, thing, that resembles a soul. No poor monster absorbing that many different personalities, no poor souls ripping themselves apart, just one, already shredded and broken soul finishing the job. And plus, I'll still be alive afterwards anyway. No monsters know this, but… While a human soul is just like any other, humans can live without souls just fine. Usually both body and soul are dying when the human soul vanishes, but it's fine for me," I lied. No, only I could live without a soul, because I was nothing even with a soul.

All monsters seemed bewildered by this, but generally accepting. When I saw that no one else would protest, I turned to start once more.

I succeeded, after only thirty seconds more, I successfully broke the barrier.

After, I lived just long enough to set up a place in the world for the monsters before dying peacefully due to prolonged existence without a soul.

I had cut ties with most monsters by that point besides Sans, Papyrus, and Flowey.

Papyrus was told I was on vacation.

Flowey was amazed I lasted the two years I did.

Sans was sad, and angry at me for lying to him.

They all lived happily ever after, though, most of their dreams and goals complete by the time they joined me in death a long while later.

I, meanwhile, was off to my next great adventure, as Dumbledore would say.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed, this was just a thing I wrote out because I was curious how it would turn out. I didn't expect it to end that soon, but, well... If you thought you were so ugly someone fainted, and then got threatened by someone you kinda liked, while having planned your death anyway, would you really want to waste time hanging around, or would you leave immediately to just get it out of the way. This, being a rather odd story, didn't exactly say her/his age, but they died at age 15, after having been around the same age of when they died before they were born in Undertale. Their parents never even returned to the town to visit their funeral. If there are any other things you think need clarification, just ask.**


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